


Before the Mess

by Patchouli_Shoes



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Demon Bill Cipher, F/M, Fiddleford Appreciation Month, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gravity Falls Oregon, Gravity Falls Spoilers, Inventor, Kill Billy, Nerdy Ford Pines, POV Original Female Character, Paranormal, Pre-Portal Incident (Gravity Falls), Research, Swearing, The Journals (Gravity Falls), The Portal (Gravity Falls), Triangle Bill Cipher, UFOs, Young Ford Pines, scientist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24718252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patchouli_Shoes/pseuds/Patchouli_Shoes
Summary: We all read to escape from our own mundane realities. Why not escape by working with Stanford Pines in gravity falls when he first starts researching the paranormal in the area? It's always fun being a crafty inventor with a knack for creating sci-fi devices. This is a little bit of OC and Ford fluff and I don't know, we'll see where it goes. Watch out for excessive swearing though.
Relationships: Ford Pines/Original Female Character(s), Ford Pines/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all the swearing guys it's a character flaw that you have in the story. I kept Ford away from swearing too much in an effort to stay true to his character. Enjoy, I hope..

“JESUS FUCK!” I flipped my mask up before sticking the newly burned part of my arm in my mouth. 

Ford came rushing outside the cabin with a look of panic in his eyes. He saw where I was standing and trotted over. 

I glared “What do you want?” 

“Well you just seemed like something was wrong so I-”

“Nothing is wrong.” I inspected the burn. “Now back up unless you want to sunburn your eyes.” 

He complied, taking a few steps back before turning and walking back into the cabin. Before I could start welding again, there was a tap on my shoulder. “Good lord, what?” 

He held out a first aid kit and dropped it in my hands. Then he turned and went back inside. I watched him as he went. 

It had only been 9 months since I joined him in Gravity Falls for an internship. My professor had recommended it to me because of my ease when it came to passing all my classes. He had told me that I would have been bored sitting through another one of his classes and that I would have learned a lot more from this internship. As much as I hated to admit that he was right, it was true. I was learning significantly more that I would have learned in even 4 more years of college. 

After covering up the burn and clicking the play button on my music I flipped down my mask cover and got back to work on the cryogenic chamber foundations. We needed a set of them for the bunker in case we came across some creature too dangerous even for Gravity Falls. I had agreed strongly with Ford on that one after running for my life from what he decided to name a gremloblin. 

I stepped back admiring my handiwork while I hosed it down, cooling all of the metal so that it didn’t accidentally set fire to the woods. All the while I was jamming silently to my walkman. 

DON’T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT!

Hell yeah, Green Day. I started bobbing my head along to the music playing through my earbuds. I stopped spraying off the frame when steam was no longer rising off of it. When I put down the hose I immediately turned back to the cabin and started playing the drums in the air. I jigged my way up the steps before pulling out an earbud when I came up on Ford tinkering with something at the table. 

“Come on, we can bring it down now.” I beckoned with my hand.

He stood and followed me out to the metal frame. I had already put the extra pieces in the bunker and all I needed down there was the metal frame. We both struggled to carry it to the bunker but were finally able to make it through the dirt tunnels to the room we had dug out of the tubes. We both wrestled with the frame before finally setting the heavy chunk of metal into its place. It popped in place beside the other finished chambers with a loud clang. 

I patted Ford’s shoulder. “Alright, I’ll put together the back. You can start to hook it up to the control board like the others.”

He nodded and I got to work screwing in and sealing the metal backing before popping the thick glass into the front. Ford was screwing in the big tube that added the hyperbaric fluid to the tank when the object or organism was inside. I stepped back still silently jamming to my music when my eyes wandered up to Ford. He had rolled up the sleeves to his turtleneck sweater. I watched the surprisingly strong nerd before he spoke up. “Whatcha looking at?”  
I felt my ears grow slightly red. “Nothing, just wondering how you can work in that sweater.” I made a quick save to avoid any embarrassment. 

“It’s April, I was going to ask you the same thing about your t-shirt.” He gestured without looking up.

“It’s hot out.” I shrugged my shoulders at the obvious lie feeling my face come down from the flush. 

“Yeah okay, I can’t wait to see how you cope with the summers here.” He made one final twist on the tube before climbing down the ladder. 

“I think it’s very bold of you to assume that I won’t be going home for the summer.”

“Are you?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then I can make a calculated prediction especially considering you’ve told me nothing about where you're from.”

I huffed and crossed my arms. I hated when he was right. There was no way I was going willingly back to that house. 

We both went back into the control room and Ford flipped a switch. The chamber started to freeze through with a deep hiss. 

“Nice.” We said in unison. 

We both walked back into the room and he started inspecting the more technical work while I checked the actual chamber for leaks. My work was flawless once again. 

“Not bad.” I said to myself tracing over the rough welded edges. The cold tracked into my fingertips and I pulled my hand away. “No leaks here.”

We both made our way back to the cabin and settled down for the night. I arrived at my room in the attic and immediately got to work in my progress journal. I wanted to keep track of what we were able to accomplish on each productive day. It allowed me to generate a timeline and make predictions as to when we would be able to complete. It would also allow me to have some sort of record of what I was learning in this ‘apprenticeship’ I was tossed into. 

When I showed up here 8 months ago, I had not expected to experience the things I had so far. I couldn’t have predicted it even if I wanted to. My first day, I came face to face with a bunch of gnomes trying to steal my chapstick. Then, less than a week later, I was chased through the woods by a gremloblin, only to escape by climbing a tree. That was when I really first started helping Ford. I had uncovered a weakness of the creature which appeared to be it’s inability to climb.

Ford had gotten very excited at the realization and immediately pulled out his own journal to write something down. He still won’t show it to me. At one point I think he claimed that it was so that I learned to take my own notes but I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t really listening. I was pretty preoccupied with a build at the time. 

I don’t share his fascination with the creatures, but the more he tries to learn about them, the more mechanical breakthroughs I get to make. It wasn’t a bad trade due to my enjoyment of working with my hands. I was also a “work rager” as Ford had so kindly put it. 

I closed my journal after logging the finish of the cryogenic chambers, or project Charlie-8. I heard a knock on the door and quickly shoved the log journal under my mattress. “Yeah?” 

The door creaked open. “Not much to report, I just wanted to let you know we’ve got a free day tomorrow so we’re going creature watching.”

I groaned and covered my eyes falling backwards on the bed. 

“Don’t be so critical. I could always put in for another apprentice.”

“Oh yes please.” I joked. “Let’s see who you get. I doubt it will be anyone nearly as smart as myself.”

He scowled “Your intelligence and usefulness comes at a terrible cost.”

“Yeah? How do you think I feel?” I laughed a little to myself. 

He rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

“Fine, I’ll come with you, but I'm allowed to complain if we don’t find something cool.” 

“Deal.” He left and I pulled the journal back out. I added a new project title. 

Project Delta-1  
Find something worthwhile in Gravity Falls.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet Skeet, I just figured I'd post the second chapter too 'cause I was pretty proud of it.

The next day I had packed a small bag with the essentials. I threw in a pack of gum and a bag of chips alongside my sketchbook and zipped up my bag. Ah yes, the bare essentials were packed. I grabbed my water bottle on my way out the door, because who was I kidding, I need water as much as the next guy. 

I was halfway out the door following behind Ford before I slapped myself and ran up the stairs to the attic. I snagged my knife in its sheath off of the bed stand and ran back down the stairs, falling into step behind Ford as he led up deeper into the woods.

I fiddled with my knife in its sheath and picked at the leather handle. Another thing I still didn’t understand was why Ford wouldn’t carry a weapon with him when seeking out unknown and unpredictable creatures. Occasionally, Ford would stop and check his compass before scribbling something out in his journal. That’s all he ever brought. His journal and a compass were probably the only contents in his bag with the exception of a visible water bottle in the side pouch. 

In all honesty, I couldn’t really say for sure that was all he had in his bag, but based on the information I had been given, there was a really good chance that was all there was. I turned my attention to the field of tall grass we had found ourselves in. There was a large boulder across the field with moss growing off of it. I sat down on the grass and started sketching a mushroom that was in front of me. Ford looked at his compass one last time before also settling down and writing vigorously in his notebook. 

I looked around when I finished with the mushroom and deemed myself officially bored. I knew better than to talk when we were searching though so I kept my mouth shut. That is, I did keep my mouth shut until I found something unsavory. 

I stood and started wandering towards the boulder in an attempt to climb it and try to get a better view of the area. I was stopped, however, by my own curiosity. There was a small tunnel leading under the rock that was way too big to be any kind of fox, but too small to be a bear or gremloblin. I looked over at Ford who had his nose still in his Journal before proceeding to look inside. I flattened myself onto my stomach and peered inside. The darkness of the cave kept me from seeing in. 

I then had the ingenious idea of poking a stick down there to see how deep it was. I grabbed a stick by my side and started sliding it into the tunnel. Then it hit something at the end. I poked the end again but this time it yelped. 

“Oh shit.” I slowly pulled myself to my feet. 

I wanted no part in whatever was inside. I was starting to back away to tell Ford before I was greeted with a devilish grin of razor teeth. Before I could react, it started yodeling and slapping various parts on it’s legs. I backed up as more of them started to file out of the hole under the rock. 

“UH FORD?!” I yelled over my shoulder hoping that he would hear me while I was continuing to back up maintaining eye contact with the leader. 

Then the leader pulled out a sharp tool seemingly made of bone and launched itself in my direction whilst hollering. I didn’t need any more of an invitation and took off away from them. I ran as fast as my legs would let me towards a very confused Ford. It was at that time that I realized that due to the slouching height of these monstrosities he probably couldn’t see them. 

“RUN!” 

“What do you-”

I grabbed his arm as I ran by and yanked him along with me. He gripped his notebook but dropped his pencil. When he turned to see where it had gone, he got an eyeful of the razor toothed creatures. 

We pushed through the woods at top speed losing a few of them behind who had apparently decided that this much exercise was beneath them. I finally let go of Ford who had taken up running too after seeing the monsters. I turned my head seeing only three of them left chasing. My lungs were killing me and I didn’t think I could outrun these few determined ones. 

“Time for plan B.” I whipped my knife out of its sheath and skidded to a halt in the leaf covered forest floor. 

“What are you doing?!” Ford had stopped too when he found I wasn’t at his side.

I didn’t answer and with my knife in hand, ran full speed at the pursuing creatures. One of them stopped and turned around starting in the other direction. Two continued on. I let out a battlecry that probably could have woken my dead grandmother and leapt on top of one of the creatures before hitting it bluntly with the backside of my knife rendering it unconscious.

The second hadn’t been far behind and threw itself at me, pinning me down to the ground. I swung my arm to block my face and neck from it’s teeth. The creature bit down on my forearm causing it to start to bleed all over myself and the creature. I switched the grip on my knife and quickly skewered his legs together. It screamed when I pulled the knife out and shoved it off of me. It started to crawl away like a kicked puppy while calling out in pain.

I wiped the knife off on my shirt before shoving it back in the casing. Then I reached down beside the knocked out being and picked up it’s makeshift bone knife. 

“Are you okay?” Ford came closer to what probably looked like and definitely felt like a crime scene. 

I looked at my bleeding arm and held it out for him to see. “I mean, no?” I smiled, my arm dripping with my own blood while the bottom of my shirt and shorts were soaked with the blood of the squirming creature still trying to crawl away. 

Ford looked on at the scene “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I was tired of running.” I tried to play it off with a shrug despite the tear jerking pain in my arm. “Come on, let's go back. I have to clean this. I don’t know where that thing's mouth has been.” 

Ford nodded and I bit my lip to fight back the cry of pain and lump forming in my throat. I turned and started back the way we came cradling the bloodied and throbbing arm. I inspected it as we went. None of the pierced spots where his teeth had dug in looked too deep and yet they continued to bleed. I occasionally dumped water over it from my water bottle in an effort to flush out the bigger stuff. 

We arrived back at the cabin and Ford ushered me inside and sat me down at the table. He went digging through the kitchen cabinets before coming back to the table with a bottle of orange powder.

“Dude is that turmeric?!” I jerked my arm away as he started sprinkling it on my open wounds. 

“Yeah it will stop the bleeding, trust me.” 

I hesitantly held out my arm and winced at the orange powder. Just like he had said, the blood stopped flowing. I looked over the array of holes across my arm. He explained something about how it had to sit for a little while before we washed it again and sat across from me at the table. He was back in his journal with a fresh pencil and started leisurely writing in it across the table from me. 

“Did you get a good look at it?” Ford started his interview 

“Good enough.” 

“Awesome!” He sounded a little too enthusiastic for the situation. “Can you describe it?”

“Painful.” I said sitting back in my seat with a narrow look. 

“Oh, sorry, I got a little excited.” He slunk down in his seat a little. He went quiet for a moment before speaking again. “Did you want to name it?” 

I perked up a little at the thought. “I can name it?” 

“Well I mean, you did find them.”

I sat up a little more excited. “A Kill Billy!”

“A Kill Billy? Don’t you want to name it something less like a play on words?” 

I glared at him and pulled out the bone knife from my pack, placing it on the table. “Kill. Billy.”

“You got it.” His eyes widened as he quickly wrote something in his notebook before closing it up again and leading me and my now orange arm to the bathroom sink. I rinsed off the turmeric and retracted my arm back crossing them while looking at him expectantly.

“Okay, you win. You can complain about this one.”

“This is yet another reason why you should carry a weapon with you.” I huffed holding back all of the complaints that had built up along the journey.

He rubbed the back of his neck. He’s pretty cute when I’ve backed him into a corner. Wait, ew no, stop that. I quickly shut up my thoughts. 

“I won’t complain if I get tomorrow off.”   
“Deal.” he quickly stuck out his hand in agreement before I could change my mind. I stuck out my tongue at him as I pushed him out of the bathroom so that I could shower.


	3. Agressive Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I added another, I was just hyped about the story. Sorry. This one is also a lot longer than the others so prepare yourself.

I peeled off all of the blood covered clothes that had dried at this point to brownish color. “Ugh, that’s not coming out.” 

I checked over my bra silently praying that I wouldn’t have to scrub it clean or toss it either but I found no blood on it. I immediately threw all of my other clothes into the waste bin due to the level of blood in them, only placing my bra aside on the sink. I ruffled my hair pulling it out of the ponytail. My scalp was sore and ached as my hair fell back down to my shoulders. 

I took my time showering off all the blood. The hot water stung on my cut up arm but relaxed the rest of my body. My pains seemed to melt away as I held my cut up arm out of the stream of water while I washed the rest of myself off. As proud as I was for fighting the Kill Billy’s, I couldn’t pretend to myself that it didn’t bother me. I felt tears start to fall. God what a cliche, crying in the shower. The anger mixed with the aftershock of fighting for my life. Causing me to choke out a sob. Before I knew it, I was crying in the shower like a goddamn teenager after her first breakup. 

I tried taking deep breaths to calm myself leading to shakier sobs. I wiped my face and stuck my injured arm under the running shower. I gasped at the sudden pain and quickly removed it after shocking myself back into reality. I felt my breathing start to slow again as I stepped out of the shower. I dried off trying not to get blood on the towel. I tied up the towel before starting to try to wrap my bad arm with gauze and coban. I stopped after several failed attempts and looked at it contemplating a solution. Then I opened the bathroom door and stuck my head out. “FORD!?” 

There, that's a solution. 

I heard the heavy steps across the cabin before he stood in front of me. His eyes wandered for a split second before he caught himself. I pretended not to notice and held out my arm. I stuck out my bottom lip in a pout.“Help.” 

“Oh good lord, that’s what you wanted? I thought you were dying or something.”

“We’re all dying Ford. Now can you help me with this? I only have one hand.” I held out the gauze and coban, which he took and wrapped up around my arm gingerly.

After he finished wrapping it, I pushed him lightly again out of the bathroom with a hurried thanks and shut the door on him again. 

“I’m not gonna lie, I feel slightly used here.” Ford called through the door.

I chuckled to myself. “I said thank you, what do you want a kiss on the cheek?” 

There was silence on the other side of the door. Pulled on my bra before retying the towel around my waist. I swung the door open again to a slightly unamused Ford who quickly looked at his feet. I walked by without hesitation up the steps to my attic room. 

After getting changed into fresh clothes for sleeping I brushed my hair and left it down. I walked in on Ford at the table with his journal open. I walked up quietly behind him before squinting over his shoulder to see him sketching out one of the Kill Billys. 

“Add a little more to the beard, and it’s teeth were sharper.” 

Ford jumped a little at my sudden appearance but nodded and started adding the features I had described. He pointed to a mug across the table which I scooped up. 

“I made tea.”

“Ooh thanks.” I smelled the aroma of the chamomile rising through the steam. 

“You know, I kind of expected you to be more mad at me for putting you in danger.”

“You’re joking right?” I sniggered while taking a sip of my tea. 

“No, I thought you were mad at me.” He looked up confused. 

“Okay well I’m not, it was my fault anyways.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Yes it was.” 

“No. I brought you there, remember?”

“Yes but I poked their cave with a stick because I was bored.”

“Oh you did that?” 

I laughed out loud “Yeah why else would they have chased me?”

“Oh.” he stopped writing for a moment, “So I’m mad at you?”

“Sure man, knock yourself out. I’m keeping the tea though.”

He nodded thoughtfully while I continued to sip on my tea. 

“Hey, am I really unbearable to work with?” I almost surprised myself saying it. 

“No. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.” He didn’t hesitate with his answer and got back to writing in the journal. 

I jolted awake the next morning to the sound of a power tool above my head. I went downstairs following the sound until I looked up and saw none other than Stanford sitting on the roof with a drill. 

“What are you doing?” I asked between the sounds of drilling.

He glanced down before facing back towards his work. “We’re supposed to get a lot of rain so I figured I’d fix up those holes in the roof that bothered us all winter.”

“What kind of rain?”

“Thunderstorms maybe, I don’t really know but by the look of those clouds over there, these patches will be worth it.”  
I looked over in the direction he had pointed to. Sure enough, there were clouds with a menacing dark gray to them. I shuddered at the thought. 

I went back inside and started messing around in the basement with some laser technology. Project Alpha-1 was to build an E-11 blaster much like seen in star wars but actually putting it into reality was proving more difficult than I anticipated. I was having trouble with the strength of the laser. I needed it to be hot enough to cut through organic matter when shot. 

“Alright, Test number 35.” I raised the gun inside the steel box and pointed it at the apple. 

In a flash of light the apple had a hole running through it 2 inches in diameter. I almost celebrated before I noticed that something else was missing. There was a small 2 inch hole in the side of the steel chamber. Behind it, there was a darkened spot on the concrete. 

“Whoops.” I flipped the safety on for the gun and tossed it aside before taking down the notes for test 35 in my progress journal. 

Project Alpha-1  
Test-35  
Too much energy. Burned a hole through the apple and steel box. Doesn’t burn through concrete though. Used Flashlamp G-4877 and Translucent mirror 12.

I slowly started deconstructing the gun when I noticed a small hole that was burnt through the shutter front. 

“Shit fuck.” I cursed under my breath and started aggressively rifling through my spare parts. 

“Stupid fucking...” I unscrewed the old shutter front and placed in a new one and chucked the old one at the wall. 

I turned on the radio trying to take down my adrenaline levels from working on the piece. I was rage working again. Last time that happened I almost burned down the cabin. 

I shoved the new, less transparent mirror in place of the older one. It needed to have a more reflective surface in order to let out less energy and strength. Then, I dropped a screw on the floor. 

“Mother Fuck!” I shouted banging my hand on the table and reaching down to grab it. I shoved it in its place and started screwing it down. “Yeah, you fucking like that don’t you, you crazy MOTHER FUCKER! SHOULDA STAYED WHERE I F-FUCKING TOLD YOU TO!” 

I slammed down my screwdriver on the metal work bench and shoved a new backing on my shooting chamber. I kicked off the old apple and let it tumble to the ground whilst roughly placing a new apple in its place. I snagged the blaster off the table and pointed it at the apple before another flash of green light emanated from the gun. As quickly as the flash had arrived it dispersed. 

Ford must have come down at some point because the music was playing louder from the radio. 

I looked where the apple had been but all that was left was a small pile of ash. Behind it, however, the backing to the shooting chamber was still completely intact with the exception of a heated red spot about 4 inches in diameter. 

“Well that works.” I mumbled to myself, coming down from the fit of rage. 

I smiled slightly to myself. Project Alpha-1 had come to an end. I quickly jotted down the new notes about the success and marked the page in red pen with my signature. 

I spent the rest of the day working on Project Bravo-2 which filled the rest of the day and resulted in me zapping myself quite a few times. I was almost done making a second taser orb before a crack of thunder made me jump in my seat. I shook off the adrenaline that had shot it’s way through my system trying to block out the pained sound. A flash of lighting lit up the room around me through the small window near the ceiling. I shook my head ignoring the panic that instinctively drove through my heart and chest. 

Xxxxxx

A strong hand was gripping my arm dragging me out of my room. I begged, cried even, pulling against it. Thunder cracked heavily overhead while lightning shot in all directions across the sky.  
“YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN US?”  
“No-no I- Please don’t.” I struggled against his grip “Dad please!” I cried clinging onto my backpack. He ripped it from my grip and tossed it outside.  
“Good luck being selfish on your own.” He scoffed and threw me down the front steps. I landed hard on my knees but as I stood up to run back in, the door slammed in my face. 

Xxxxx

I hadn’t planned on taking the internship in Gravity Falls Oregon, but I had run out of sensible options at the time. My professor had trusted him which was good enough for me. 

I made my way up the basement stairs at an even pace holding the sketchbook that I brought with me to my chest. I picked up the speed when another crack of thunder rocked the house. I walked through the seemingly empty house before stopping at the door to Ford’s bedroom. It was slightly ajar and Ford was sitting up on his bed messing with a deck of cards.

I walked in without announcing myself and sat down on his shag carpet. 

“What uh, what are you doing?” Ford looked up from the spread out cards. 

“Sketching. Can I sit in here?”

“Yeah absolutely. If you don’t mind though, may I ask why?”

“I actually do mind.”

I felt his eyes on me from across the room. “I’m not telling you.” I answered his stare without looking up from sketching a Kill Billy. 

“Do you dislike thunderstorms?” he wouldn’t go back to his cards until he got an answer.

“NO.” I shot him a look which he returned with a snarky grin.

“Ha! You’re afraid of thunder!”

“Am not!” I dropped my sketchbook to my lap and glared.

“That makes little to no sense with your personality, you know that right.” He seemed to be holding back a laugh. 

“Yeah I know.” I drew my legs up to my chest shamefully admitting the truth.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it's just strange you know? I mean, one minute you’re skewering the legs of a feral creature and swearing excessively at your work and then next thing you know, you’re hiding from the clouds.”

“They’re loud.” I answered back meekly scooting so that my back was against a wall before drawing my legs back up again. 

“Yes they are.” He pushed aside the cards and patted the bed beside him.

I stared for a moment unsure as to what to do in this situation before another crack of thunder directly overhead decided for me. I found myself sitting beside Ford on the bed while he gathered up the cards back into a stack.

“Were you playing solitaire?” I asked, scooting closer to him in an effort to shelter myself from the pounding of the rain. 

“Yep.” 

“Ha, what a nerd.” I said softly, continuing to hide from the sound of the storm. 

“Yeah, like I’m the nerd in this situation.” He said back before putting the deck of cards aside and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. 

I stiffened slightly at the approach. Another crack of thunder had crashed overhead at the same time which probably led Ford to think that I had stiffened from that. He squeezed my shoulder with a six fingered hand. My body relaxed now being pressed against his. The warmth from his embrace kept me safe, helping me completely forget about the storm throwing itself at the cabin. 

“You’re not so menacing and feral when you’re scared.”

“I’m not feral.”

“Psh, yeah, okay.” Ford chuckled to himself.

“I am not.” I shoved his arm away playfully.

“I’m agreeing with you.” 

“No you’re not, you’re being sarcastic.” I scrunched my nose and turned myself so I was sitting criss cross facing him. I crossed my arms.

“Okay fine. You’re not feral. Happy?” he spoke in an even tone not taking his eyes off of me. “Now come back, it’s cold.” 

I eyed him suspiciously but returned to my space beside him. We sat like that for several hours in the bed. The wind whistled by but eventually the thunder and lightning subsided leaving us with the sound of steady rain against the wall. I felt his heartbeat quickening despite his calm look. I guess he’s just as anxious as me. 

I don’t remember when but I assume I drifted off because the next thing I remember I woke to sitting upright in Ford’s embrace. Ford had fallen asleep as well so I scooted out from under his arm. I sat on the side of his bed and looked back to a sleeping Ford. He looked incredibly peaceful without his usual furrowed brow and nose in his journal. I felt my stomach twist and left the room for the kitchen. I hadn’t eaten anything for dinner. 

I was fixing myself something before I heard the familiar heavy steps behind me. “What are you doing up at, what time is it? Uh… three thirty in the morning, making mac and cheese?”

I looked between the boiling water and then back at him. “Look, I don’t ask for much in life, but just this once, could you not question my madness for, like, ten minutes.” 

“You got it.” He turned and left. 

While I ate my dinner/breakfast, I flipped through my notes, looking for projects I had planned on but never got to yet. I found quite a few. This was going to be a busy summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look! You made it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a bit- Have fun!

The next day I found myself helping Ford with the bunker again. We had to finish the walls in the control room which was probably the biggest waste of my intelligence I could even fathom. I did try my best not to complain the whole way because of how nice Ford had been about the whole thunderstorm thing. 

I was laying tiles while Ford was smoothing the cracks in the wall that were left behind after the cinder blocks were laid out. 

“You know, being able to turn on and off the cryogenic tubes isn’t really that helpful if we can’t keep track of the other semantics going on in the same room.” Ford said and paused filling in cracks. 

“Yeah, so?” I grunted, carrying over the stacked stone tiles. 

“We could build a surveillance room.” He looked around the room thoughtfully.

I lowered the tiled down to the ground, careful not to break any of them. “Surveilling what?” 

“The area, the bunker, you know…” He started “It could help in case we got trapped down here.” 

“Jeez, what makes you think I’d willingly stay in this bunker after whatever apocalypse you have planned?” I laughed and gave him a shove. 

He laughed too and got back to filling in cracks. “Yeah I wasn’t really asking for your opinion. I am definitely building the surveillance room.” He shrugged.

I looked between him and the stacked tiles. “Aaaaand I guess I’ll help because then I can put in that security system.” 

“You’ll really help?” He looked hopeful.

“Uh huh, don’t let it get to that head of yours.” I gestured and started laying down more tiles. “That's why I’m here isn’t it?” 

“Well, the bunker was a side project and you were technically only supposed to be here for observation.”

“Eh. We’ve passed the point of no return.”

After the floor and cracks were finished, Ford and I had to leave the room for it to dry and settle. We sat outside on the top of the stairs that led down below the tree. It must have been a funny sight; two equally nerdy people seated outside a hole in the ground, both scratching something down in a notebook. 

I had kept mine away from Ford in hopes that he wouldn’t know that I had taken his advice on keeping one. I had just figured it was beneath me to have shame after the whole Kill Billy situation. Ford had looked over at me at one point but clearly made the right decision and ignored the sudden appearance of the accessory. I had to add a new project to the notebook anyhow. 

Project Charlie-9  
Surveillance room to be added to the Bunker. Same room as the control for cryogenic tubes. Will be adding a weapons locker at some point. 

I glanced over at Ford (you guessed it) writing more in his notebook. “Whatchu got there?” I leaned in to get a glimpse of what he could possibly be writing. He leaned away, turning the cover to block my view while he continued scratching away.

“Come on! Let me see!” I stood and tried looking over his shoulder. He quickly stood as well and turned away. “What do you even put in there?!” I demanded to try to get closer to the journal. He stopped writing and closed it up before turning to face me. 

“It’s just information on the strange phenomena that are found here.” He looked to his left like a cornered sheep. 

“Then why can’t I see?” I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. 

“Because, well, uh..”

“It’s what?” I prodded.

“That's not all that I put in there.” He gripped the journal closer. 

“HA, a diary!” I laughed out loud causing him to get defensive.

“It’s NOT a diary. It’s a journal and I use it to keep track of my work!”

“You know what, you didn’t make fun of the thunder thing, so I won’t make fun of your diary.” I gave myself a half smile and took a step back. 

“It’s NOT A DIARY!” He pointed a finger at me accusingly. “I just don’t need you reading my notes.” He tried to straighten his sweater and stand up a little taller.

“All right, all right…” I waved him off and sat back down on the step. “Keep your secrets.” 

He turned and walked a few steps away before sitting down again facing me. He had a smug look on his face as though he had won. I was going to take him down a notch but I figured I’d let him have this one when I noticed his proud look. I watched carefully as he flipped a bunch of pages back in his journal before writing something down. He looked up at me and then back down to his notes. 

I didn’t want to antagonize any more but still, under my breath I mumbled out “Diary.” 

He didn’t look up. I was both equally relieved and disappointed that he hadn’t heard my remark. I went back into the bunker to check the tile floors. The sealer had set and was touch dry but I would still have to wait for at least another day before I could walk on it safely. I hurried back up the steps to a Ford waiting expectantly. “Is it dry?”

“It’s touch dry, don’t walk on it for another 24 hours though to be safe.”

He sighed as though he was disappointed. 

“We can work getting some of those surveillance computers and cameras while we wait though.” I tried to pop a positive spin on the boring situation. “And then I can finally get some time to work on Delta-2.” 

“What’s Delta-2?” Ford inquired quicker than I could realize that I shared part of my project system with him.

I cleared my throat and brushed it off. “Just something I’ve been meaning to do.” 

“Oh, is that what you put in your journal?” 

“I don’t have a journal.” I looked at him, dead serious. 

“It’s in your hand.” He pointed out matter-of-factly. 

I looked down at my hand and waved it at him. “Oh, you mean my notebook? It’s where I hide all of my deepest darkest secrets.” I waggled my fingers at him mystically, stifling back a laugh.

He tilted his head slightly. “What-” He stopped himself and shook his head, probably figuring it wasn’t worth it. 

I turned and smiled to myself before starting back towards the cabin. Ford followed behind. I hadn’t turned around to look but I could hear his heavy footsteps crunching through the leaves. The day had turned slightly chilly too because that’s the thing about Oregon weather; It doesn’t like to stay consistent, especially in April. 

I felt a shiver run up my spine as I swung open the cabin door. Some of the cool air shoved it’s way in before I could close the door. I stood for a moment holding back the shiver but goosebumps showed up on my arms despite my best efforts to ignore the cold. With the cold creeping around my stubbornly bare arms, my mind drifted back to the safety of Ford's embrace. It was warm in his arms during the storm. I pushed away the thoughts quickly, burying them back to where they came from. I really didn’t have time for such relationships or thoughts even. 

“Are you cold?” Ford broke me out of my headspace.

“No, I don’t get cold.” 

He looked at me skeptically “That’s impossible, you’re a warm blooded being.”

I gave him a look of annoyance. 

“Oh, you were being defiant. I should probably be used to this by now.” He started towards the basement door. “I’m going to plan out the surveillance room.”

“Okay have fun with that, but I also need to work on my own things down there.”

He looked back, seemingly unsure about the both of us working down there at the same time. He looked me up and down as though he was making some sort of decision before turning and making his way down the stairs to the basement. I was about to follow him downstairs before I rushed upstairs and grabbed a sweatshirt off my bed. 

I pulled on the sweatshirt as I made my way down the basement steps. Ford was already sketching something out on graph paper when I rounded the corner. I waltzed over to my work bench and admired my past creations. The blaster was situated on the wall that displayed my other works. I looked them over before pulling out my notebook and looking through what I already had done for Delta-2. Delta-2 had been growing for a good week now on the workbench in a few jars I had stolen from the kitchen. I walked over to my shelf and started looking through boxes before I came across what I was looking for. I pulled out several small plastic pieces along with a few metal ones. I almost immediately got to work on the small hollow balls of plastic and metal. 

Ford didn’t look up from his work while I started to melt the pieces of plastic together in a sphere shape. I left a hole in the side of the sphere where I would snap a metal piece into place. I sanded down the edges of the plastic to give it a smoother surface and rinsed it off, making sure that none of the plastic bits had gotten on the inside. I looked over at Ford who was only admiring whatever was on the graph paper. 

He sat so quietly, as though he was having a thousand conversations all at once in his head. Then all at once, he wrote something down and started folding up the graph paper. I quickly looked back at the 3 small spheres of plastic sitting on my desk so that he wouldn't know I had been watching. I pulled one of the jars off the work bench shelf and started to unscrew the lid. I listened carefully as the footsteps came closer until he was almost leaning over my shoulder. I pretended to not know but I could feel his gaze on not only my work but also on myself. 

I started pouring some of the water into the orb but my hand slipped slightly and I dropped some of the water on my shirt. 

“Mother fucking shit.” I cursed to myself and placed the jar back upright. The algae had all stayed in the jar though, so there was a plus side to this. I tried to brush off the water but it just spread more on my shirt. Ford’s gaze was still on whatever I had in the jar. I was done ignoring him over stupid things. 

“What?” I turned to face him. 

“Nothing.” His gaze shifted from me back to something behind me. I turned back to see what he was looking at. It was the bioluminescent algae that was only now starting to glow from the disruption. “It looks like some kind of bioluminescent algae.” He said like the genius he is. 

“And the circle gets the square.” I breathed and started pulling out clumps of the algae from the jar and shoved them into the orb. They glowed aggressively in protest at being handled. After all three orbs had been filled with water and algae I snapped on the metal piece and sealed it. I wiped them off with a towel and turned them each over in my hand checking for leaks. Unsurprisingly, the work was flawless once again. I shook the dimming light and it started glowing again brightly in my hand. I flipped a switch, effectively shutting off the basement lights, and leaving us in the solid darkness of 32 feet under the ground. 

I shook each of the small orbs and watched as they dimly lit up the area around my workbench. I stood, rather proud of myself with my hands on my hips as the blue glowing balls cast a gorgeous light in the space. Without turning around I could sense a pair of eyes once again trained on me. This time I didn’t even attempt to ignore it. 

“Whatcha lookin at?” I said shaking the orbs once again. I heard him slightly shuffle his feet and probably look away after he knew he was caught. 

“I just, Can I ask you a question?” He took a few steps so that he was standing beside me at the bench. He reached out to hold one of the orbs and opened his mouth to say something. He looked over at my probably intent look before closing his mouth again. He cleared his throat “Just, uh, good job with this. These are cool.” He placed it back down on the table and left up the basement stairs, flooding the blue room with artificial light when he opened the door.

"Not really a question." I mumbled to myself flipping on the light to the basement again. I set two of the finished orbs on my completed works shelf and shoved another in my pocket. I pushed my mind to other topics than the question that Ford failed to ask. It did seem unlike him to mistake a declarative sentence for an interrogative one though.


	5. Oop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I mumbled under my breath. “Did it hurt?”
> 
> “Oh I know this one, when I fell from heaven right?”
> 
> “No.”
> 
> “What-” He looked thoroughly confused at the sudden change of direction. 
> 
> “When you fell for me.” I grinned and turned away. That was a good one.

So, I wasn’t entirely sure how I got into this situation but at this point I was sitting at the Diner watching Stanford shuffle anxiously through a bunch of index cards while Lazy Susan approached our booth. Okay, maybe I did know how I got here. 

“I don’t think that’s a good one.” I said. I sat across from Ford at the kitchen table. We had found ourselves in the conversation of pick up lines after I had been hit on by someone in town. They had used “You got a phone in that back pocket? ‘Cause that ass is calling me.” Then he had reached to touch me when I caught his hand and bent his wrist back. 

After threatening him, trying to keep my voice steady with confidence and being called a tease I finished my errands and headed back to the cabin. Then after telling Ford about the interaction, he asked if there were such a thing as a good pick up line. Naturally, I had to prove the existence of a few, which did help me feel like less of an object. One thing led to another and at that point I had placed a bet.

“Oh have you written down the ‘fell from heaven’ one?” I asked peering over to see which ones he had written down on the notecards. 

“I’m not familiar.” He said and I reached over and pulled a blank card from his little stack. I started scribbling it down for him. “Now, these are our options.” I said gathering up all of the cards into a pile. “Rules are simple; We each get two chances and getting their number or getting a laugh means a win. Your opponent also choses your target so be prepared.”

“Alrighty, lets go.” 

Ford shuffled anxiously through the index cards before stopping at one. Lazy Susan came and stood at our table. I let a small giggle slip through my lips when she asked us if she could get us anything else. 

Stanford’s face was turning shades. “Hey… so… uh,” he looked back down at his notecard while I tried desperately to hold back the laugh. “Did you uh, did you fall out of heaven because, um,” I noticed his leg bouncing anxiously. 

Lazy Susan laughed before he could finish his pick up line. “That's very sweet, but I am actually seeing someone right now.”

I couldn't hold back the laughter any longer. I covered my mouth as Stanford shot me a look. “You set me up! You knew she was seeing someone didn’t you?” 

“I may have done some research but I didn’t expect you to actually win that one, you know, after you lost the last one so horribly.” I mumbled reaching for the cards. “Alrighty, who do you have for me?” 

Stanford looked around the diner searching for a target before giving up. “There's no one here that I think you could fail at.” Just as he said that the bell above the entrance jingled marking the entrance of another person. Correction, it was the entrance of 2 people. I felt my heart momentarily sink when I recognized the face of the man who was being an ass just yesterday. Ford didn’t catch the look I had on my face and gestured to the man who had just entered. “What about him?”

“No, not him.” I said turning back around in my seat. I don’t know why I was reacting the way that I was. The guy was just a creep. It wasn’t like I haven’t been catcalled or assaulted before.

“You said I got to choose-” Ford stopped himself when his eyeline met mine. “What's wrong?”

I didn’t feel like I looked too bad. I may have had a pit in my stomach and I noticed my hands clenched together, but I was putting on a normal face. “Nothing, I just…don’t feel well.” 

I looked down at the floor. I hated this nameless guy. He had no right to make me feel small. I was so much more than he could even fathom in his tiny head. I felt the anger rising again from the previous interaction. Before Ford could say anything in response, a disgustingly familiar voice spoke up. “Would you look at that. It’s the pretty little eye candy from earlier.” He elbowed his friend.

“Can I help you gentlemen?” Ford spoke up before I could respond. 

“Oh, yes actually. You should tell your little pet to be less of a tease around town. She shouldn’t be showing off all that skin if she doesn't want to get some.”

“She’s not… uh wait.” Ford said, obviously shocked by the statement made by this man. 

“I’m not a fucking pet.” I spat cutting him off.

“Aww there's that attitude we love.” He looked at his friend with a laugh. 

“I think you should move along.” Ford stood only slightly towering over them. I didn’t notice how intimidating he could be when he wanted to. 

“Whatever,” the man took a step back. “Bunch of freaks anyways.” His friend laughed and they went and took a seat at the far end of the diner. 

I didn’t want to do this again. I pulled some money out of my pocket and counted it out before tossing it on the table. Then I got up and left the diner. If I stayed in there any longer I might have knocked out the man’s lights after castrating his friend. Stanford followed close behind. 

“I don’t like them.” I said when he caught up to my side. “Thanks… for uh…I don’t know, thanks for helping.” I kicked a rock. 

“Yeah, no problem. They were a bunch of jerks anyhow.”

“I can hold my own.” 

“You shouldn’t have to hold your own when I’m around.” He pushed his hands in his pockets. “Hey, I never gave you a target. We’re tied right now.”

“Yeah it’s okay, you can have the win.” I didn’t want to fight him on this one. “You get me as an assistant for one day per the bet.” 

“That hardly seems fair.” Ford stopped in his tracks. I stopped too and turned to face him. “You only got one chance and I got two.”

“Okay, but it’s not like there's anyone around,'' I said gesturing to the mostly empty sidewalk. “And even if there was, I don’t really feel like it.”

“Here, how about me.” He said. I studied his face looking for a hint of deception. This had to be a joke right? When I found his face being as serious as his tone I found my own reason not to flirt with him. “Is that really fair?”

“Sure, I'll just pretend I don’t know you.” 

“That’s gonna be pretty hard considering how unforgettable of a person I am.” 

“I’ll manage.” He held out the cards. I took them and shoved them in my pockets before crossing my arms. 

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I mumbled under my breath. “Did it hurt?”

“Oh I know this one, when I fell from heaven right?”

“No.”

“What-” He looked thoroughly confused at the sudden change of direction. 

“When you fell for me.” I grinned and turned away. I heard the short laughter behind me before he picked up the pace and followed in step beside me. “Okay you win. You didn’t even use the cards and that one was good.” 

“It’s because I don’t need cards.” I smiled softly to myself as we walked together the rest of the way back to the cabin. I wasn’t sure what it was but making Ford flustered did help me feel better.

We had gone to the diner for dinner so the sun was already starting to set and was almost below the horizon when we got back. I shivered at the sudden change in temperature. I was stubborn, but even stubbornness wouldn’t keep me warm in this kind of weather. The house was almost as warm as the outdoors which left me continuing to shiver as I stepped in. 

Maybe I shouldn’t be so critical about who I fall for. Especially if the one who I think I’m falling for happens to be both smart and rather good looking. I definitely could feel that way, but that does NOT mean I could act on. He was my direct superior in this apprenticeship/internship which would make it both unethical and slightly inappropriate. 

What if I make it more like a game?

I smiled slightly at the thought. I could do that. Flirting never did anyone any harm. 

“Heya Ford.” I trotted down the stairs to see him messing with something at the table. 

“Hi. Change in attitude?” He screwed something in place before placing down the small handheld device. 

“What do you have there?” I leaned over his shoulder to get a glimpse at the small device.

“It’s part of something I’ve been working on.” 

“Does it have anything to do with that ugly carpet over there?” I gestured to the blue shag carpet that was rolled up against the wall. 

“Yes actually. I call it the Electron Carpet.” 

“Okay" I said hesitantly "What does said electron carpet do?” I watched as he stood and started attaching the metal device to some wires running through the carpet. 

He seemed to light up slightly as he explained his invention. “So you know how atoms lose and gain electrons when they mingle with energy?”

“Yes, I took 8th grade math.” 

“Well this is something that swaps the consciousness of one living being with another through the static electricity created on the carpet. The static electricity powers this small device here which in short sends the jolt between the beings that swaps their minds.”

“Okay, why?” I asked imagining any kind of situation in which this would be helpful. 

“Dangerous beings can swap minds with those who are less dangerous. For example, we could flip the consciousness of a gremloblin and squirrel, leaving the gremloblin’s body under the control of a skittish animal and the gremloblin’s mind at the mercy of the squirrel's body.”

“That’s actually pretty smart.” I had to admit it wasn’t the most useless of his ideas. I picked up one of the ends of the carpet and helped him carry it into the Parlor. After rolling it out on the floor I sat down on it. For an ugly shag carpet, it is rather soft and comfy to sit on. 

“Just be careful not to build up too much static electricity on that.” Ford said, quickly writing something down in his notebook. 

“You got it. So theoretically, if I were to build up enough static electricity, I could swap minds with another conscious being?” 

Ford hummed a response halfheartedly. It was clear that he wasn’t fully listening. 

I started rubbing my socks against the carpet. I was ready for my evil plan to take place. “And this has been tested to prove it’s safety?” 

“Well, not quite. This time it should work though I only had to make one final adjustment.” He closed up his journal. “Now, let's find something to test.”

“Oh don’t worry I already found something.” I felt my hair start to prickle up on end from the static electricity.

“Wait-” 

Before he could ask his question I ran at him and slapped my hand down on his shoulder zapping him with the build up charge. 

My head spun as I slowly sat up. I must have fallen over. I ran my fingers through my hair but something was wrong. My fingers fell right through the shorter hair. I blinked my eyes slowly looking around. The light of the room was giving me a killer headache. Was I wearing different clothes? Then it hit me. It worked!

I quickly stood up and looked down at my now six fingered hands. “Holy Fuck it worked!” I looked down to see (myself?) Ford slowly got up. I felt fantastic. I was taller, stronger and about 8 times more intimidating. It was a dream come true. 

“Ugh what?” Ford rubbed his eyes and slowly stood up. He looked at me standing with a huge grin on my face and jumped back like a spooked rabbit. 

“What did…you didn’t.” He looked around and then looked down at his hands. 

I was a little caught up with looking at my newfound body. I reached up my arm and just barely touched the ceiling. 

“Look Ford, I’m tall now!” I shouted, startling him out of his headspace. 

He pushed his shoulders back in an attempt to bring back his own height and confidence. I looked on at my original body. It was incredibly small and unthreatening in comparison to Ford’s. 

“Well, that was… irresponsible.” Ford started, still flexing the 5 fingered hands. “But I suppose now I know that it works.”

“Ugh am I really that…” I paused for a second trying to find the right word. “Benign-looking.” I crossed my arms. 

Ford got back to inspecting the body he found himself in. “I don’t like this.” 

“I can tell.” I said, watching him. 

He kneaded his hands together and looked down at his chest. He reached to adjust something on his chest before catching himself and quickly shoving his hands in his pockets. Ford looked up red in the face while he shrugged at a bra strap. “I would like myself back now, I think. I need to add this in my journal.” He gritted his teeth. 

His journal. I had it on me now. I reached into the pocket of his jacket and held it out for him to see. “You mean this?” 

He seemed to have the same idea because he was holding my notebook in his hands. We both looked at each other with narrow eyes before I took off Ford’s shoes and started building up more static electricity with his socks. We kept a close eye on each other before we reached our right hands out at the same time with a zap. 

I fell back with the same spinning feeling before I shook my head and looked at my hands. Five fingers. “Ugh this is just as underwhelming as I remember.” I stuck my notebook back into my pocket and stood, brushing off my pants. Ford was getting up too and looking at his own hands. 

“Let’s never do that again.” I felt a chill run down my spine. 

“Agreed.” Ford looked slightly disturbed. 

“I did enjoy the moments of being tall though.” I said thoughtful.

“No, not again. I hated that. Your clothes are so uncomfortable.” Ford flipped open his journal and wrote something down before closing it up again and tucking it in his pocket. I saw his ears turn slightly red while he shuffled his feet. “I prefer my extra finger anyways.”

“You know Ford, I get now why people hit on me in town. I’m fucking hot.” I adjusted the bra that Ford had been messing with and looked over my body checking for any major problems. “I think I’m also glad that I look harmless. Then people won’t see it coming when I tear out their intestines and use it to hang them.” I smiled putting my hands on my hips. 

“Well that's… graphic. I do also understand the appeal.”

Before I could say anything he left the room. He understands the appeal? Was he- no, that's ridiculous. He was probably stating a fact. The fact being that I am pretty damn good looking. I didn’t have time for insecurities so I mostly ignored them and just came to the conclusion that I looked great. After all, confidence is one of the most important keys to being good looking. I followed after him, missing the longer legs already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ford's POV (For all of you cursed readers)
> 
> She sat across from me at the table with her feet up. I could have complained about her putting her feet up on the table but I didn’t feel it was that important. She’d been here 9 months 17 days now and I still knew very little about her. As much as I wanted to learn about her and what brought her here into the middle of the woods to study anomalies, I couldn’t really ask and jeopardize our professional relationship. I did find it quite charming however when she first showed up and simply said “Cool. Six fingered handshake. That's like a full finger cooler than a regular one.” 
> 
> Also, for clarification, yes it did hurt when I fell. I really didn’t want to get involved with her though. The only way I could get rid of the urge to ask her out or tell her how I felt would be to shove my face in the journal again. At one point I found myself drawing her too while she worked. She had been hunched over at her work bench fiddling with something. When I realized what I had done, I just put in a page entry about who she was so that when the work was completed she could get the credit she deserved. 
> 
> I had been talking to her less and less recently but I don’t think that she noticed. I couldn’t hold a long enough conversion without my face heating up. So yes, it did hurt when I fell. It hurt like a bite from a Kill Billy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added a name to the character sorry if you don't like it. I can't please everyone. Have a nice read btw

“Why aren’t you going home for the summer?” Ford’s question caught me a little off guard. 

“I don’t really have anywhere to go.” I shrugged off the question trying to be as vague as possible while also giving him the answer he wanted.

“I thought you lived with the family you told me nothing about.” He stood at the top of the ladder and drilled the security camera into place.   
“I did, yeah.” I stood at the bottom of the ladder with a box of security cameras.

“So why not go back?” 

“I, uh, can’t.”

He looked down the ladder making eye contact with me before turning back around and making some final adjustments to the camera. “Oh, sorry.”

“Eh it’s fine, they didn’t deserve me anyways.” I rolled my shoulders from the growing weight of the cameras. 

“I guess not.” Ford grabbed the ladder and headed to the woods to the north east of the house. We had only the Northeast section left before we were all done with the house security. 

“I don’t understand why we need so much security. We aren’t doing anything illegal are we?” I said with a hint of hope. 

“No, no, nothing like that. I’ve just started a project that could be dangerous so I want to be safe.”

“OOh you didn’t tell me anything about this!” I adjusted my grip on the box before catching up to walk beside him. 

“I don’t think you should be involved.”

“What why not?!” I practically yelled. I was taken aback at the thought of being held back from danger and intrigue.

“It’s not safe and I am responsible for your wellbeing.”

“Who’s gonna care? I already told you that my family doesn’t.”

“I would care.” I saw his face slightly wince at the sentence like he was mentally hitting himself for saying it. 

“Oh.” I looked down at the cameras before looking back at him with an idea. “Could you at least tell me what it is?”

He thought about it for a moment before answering “All the anomalies here must have come from somewhere. I’m trying to build a gateway here, to wherever all these creatures came from.” 

I smiled knowing I had the perfect argument now. “So you’re building something mechanical and you didn’t even think to recruit the smartest apprentice that you have around. I built an infinity rope for god's sake.” 

“I just-” He suddenly got incredibly flustered. I couldn’t understand what it was that I did. I hadn’t even tried to make him embarrassed. Then he sighed “Fine you can help but when things start to get risky, you have to promise that you’ll leave.”

“Fine.” I had a little more of a kick to my step as I followed Ford to a tree he deemed reasonable. He screwed in the last house camera before we headed deeper into the woods to place the rest strategically around the bunker. 

Ford grabbed the matching chips from each of the cameras out of the bottom of the box and entered them into the computer in the bunker before we took the rest to the basement of the cabin and set them up there as well. Ford looked proud at his work and I shoved the box with one camera left onto my shelf. This was my box now. 

“Hey, just a head’s up, I’m keeping this camera.” I picked it out of the box and inspected it before tossing it back in. 

He looked over at my shelf of mostly scrap. “Sure.”

I was about to thank him before the space around him started to change color. It flashed and changed to a black and white that you would see in an old photograph. I looked around slightly panicked by the changed state of the room around me. I looked at Ford who was surprisingly calm for such a situation. He must have read the panic on my face.

“Don’t worry, you’ll understand in a second.” He smiled excitedly.

“What the fuck is happening.” I shot back. I felt my voice break slightly. 

He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a third unfamiliar and chilling voice.   
“Wow Fordsy. Quite the mouth on this one.” 

I whipped around and took a double take on what I was seeing. A triangle was floating in front of me. A triangle? I took several steps back bumping into Ford. 

“Patch, this is Bill.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “He’s also agreed to help with the portal. He’s already helped in so many ways.” 

Before Ford could continue to butter up the triangle, I had to intervene. “What’s the catch?” 

“No catch, I just get to use little old Fordsy’s brain here when he’s asleep.”

“That doesn’t sound safe.” I crossed my arms and planted my feet in the ground more confidently. 

“It’s perfectly fine, don’t worry. He spends the nights adding his own data and information to the journal.” Ford added.

“So you let the triangle read your journal but not me?” I blatantly ignored the whole ‘using his body while he sleeps’ part of the conversation and skipped to the more pressing matters. He was letting the illuminati mascot read his work but not me.

Ford looked slightly stumped by the question but Bill didn’t skip a beat. “That’s right missy. Probably because he doesn’t want you to see the page he wrote about you.” 

“Wait, PAGE?!” I whipped my head to look at Ford who was very uncomfortable with this change in conversation. 

“Haha he didn’t tell you?” Bill was laughing to himself. “Wow, well I just came here to introduce myself to this thing.” He gestured at me. “See ya in your dreams Sixer!” 

The room regained its color and I kept my eyes on Ford. “I have a few questions.” I started slowly keeping my cool. He sighed and beckoned me to follow him up the stairs.

I sat across from him at the table. He started “So I haven’t been completely honest with you.” 

“You don’t think.” 

“For starters, Bill is a being from the dreamscape. I found an incantation and a cave painting down by Beaver Ridge. I said the words out loud and that was when I met him. He’s far older than earth itself. He offered to help and in order for him to help, he needs to use my body at night to keep up with our research.”

“Yes, I got that from the interaction with the angry corn chip.”

He brushed off the insult to his muse. “Look, I keep a page of everything. I didn’t mean for you to know about it any more than I meant to make it.”

“You expect me to believe that you made a whole ass page on me by accident.”

He fiddled with his thumbs. “Yes?” 

I watched him for a minute more. I was almost completely overwhelmed with curiosity. What could it say?

“I can’t show it to you.” He moved his hand defensively over the pocket with the journal. 

“I wasn’t going to ask.” I said softly. I felt slightly hurt at the betrayal. It may have hurt less had I not caught feelings, but my stupid brain didn’t know what was good for it. I stood and was about to leave for my room before I stopped. “You think Bill is safe?” 

“He’s my best shot at getting to the bottom of this.”

“Okay.” I nodded and started towards the stairs. “I trust you.”

I was laying on my bed when Ford came upstairs after me about 10 minutes later. I propped myself up on my elbows and eyed him in the doorway. He pulled out his journal and tossed it on the bed. I titled my head slightly at the gesture and sat up criss cross on my bed. 

“I don’t want to keep secrets from you.” he shrugged his shoulders like he was trying to play it off as a regular gesture. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to read your diary just ‘cause you think you have to show me.”

“It not-” He stopped himself and laughed. “Yes.”

I quickly snatched up the journal almost stopping at some of the pages about creatures but pushing through to the real root of my curiosity. I stopped briefly at the page with a picture of a Kill Billy and shuddered. Ford closed the door to my room and leaned against it watching me carefully. 

I flipped through the pages some more before a different kind of sketch stopped me. It was…me. I instantly stopped flipping and started reading. This was what I came for. 

‘My coworker, Patchouli Torres.’

I read through the text stopping at both of the sketches and admiring the talent that each of them would have taken. One of the sketches featured me scowling over a build at what appeared to be my workbench. Another was simply my shoulders up looking at whoever read with a glare. I had to laugh a little at the fact that I had accurately portrayed myself how I wanted. Wait, scratch that. I felt my face head up slightly after reading the last paragraph. I read it over a second time to make sure that I had read it correctly. 

‘One of the smartest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. Stanley would have told me I was crazy for going this long without asking her to get coffee. I still feel a little lost without him.’

I cleared my throat and tried desperately to help my face come down from the flush. “It is a diary.” I whispered to myself giving into a giggle. 

Ford looked beyond uncomfortable standing against the door. I closed the journal and held it out for him to take. “Thanks.” 

He turned to leave but I stopped him. “Okay I have two questions.” I started, standing up beside my bed. “First- Who’s Stanley?” 

He looked up at me “Twin brother.” He looked a little sad as he said it. “We haven’t spoken in a while.” 

“Okay.” I took a few steps closer keeping my cool despite my aggressively fast heart rate. “And did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?” His confused face made me smile at the thought that he had forgotten already. 

“When you fell for me.” I had a shit eating grin spread across my face. Before I could taunt him for forgetting the contest he pulled me in, pressing his lips against my own. In a moment I was lost. I swung my arms over his shoulders and around his neck. His hands snaked around my sides to my back, sending chills up my spine. I pulled back from the kiss and took a breath, resting my forehead on his. 

“Did you want to go for coffee?” Ford practically whispered the question.

I mustered up as much attitude as I could for my response. “I’m not gonna lie Ford, I don’t really enjoy coffee all that much.” 

“You can get tea.” He changed his gaze to meet mine. 

“Now that’s something I can get behind.” I giggled and crashed our lips together a second time. I wasn’t letting this one go.


	7. Chapter 7

“Just a thought, wouldn’t this crash site that you refer to be somewhere… less filled with trees?” I asked in a hushed voice. I pushed past several tree branches. Ford held a few out of my way but it wasn’t reasonable to try and do that with all of them. 

“No, according to my research, it would have crashed over 500 years ago. That gives plenty of time for all of these trees to grow over it.” He stopped for a moment in a clearing and looked down at his journal. 

I looked around at the clearing. That was it. It was a small clearing in the woods. Then we pressed on. The woods became less thick with trees spaced further apart after 10 more minutes of walking.

“So a hyperdrive huh?” I said breaking the unbearably boring silence. 

“Yeah, Bill, er, we need one to help power the gateway.” He looked around in all directions, wrote something down in his journal before turning slightly to the left and walking in the new direction. 

I pulled out my knife and started swinging it around like a jouster before I found a small lumpy stick.

“Oh fun.” I said, picking it up and starting to carve away at it. 

Ford looked back and saw the whittling, smiled to himself, and turned back around. “What are you making?” 

“It’s a surprise.” I said with a tiny grin starting to grow. 

“Oh wow. Look! A mysterious house in the middle of the woods!” Ford practically jumped from the excitement. “We have to check it out.” 

“That’s a horrible idea, let's do it.” I held out the tiny stick spear for him to take when I walked past him towards the house. I didn’t look back at his expression but I could tell he was disappointed that all I knew how to carve was tiny spears. He followed along anyways towards the house. I heard him close up his journal and the zipping noise led me to assume he had tucked it safely away. 

I entered the house with the floorboards immediately groaning under my weight. I stepped carefully, having felt the concerning amount of give they had when stood upon. Ford, however, was less careful with his steps. That and his added weight is what led him to crash through the floorboards and out of sight. 

“FORD!” I shouted, reaching out to grab him before he fell through, but I was too late. Ford had already splintered the wood and fell briefly before a small thump could be heard from the hole in the floor. I rushed to the edge of the hole and poked my head over the edge. “Oh my god, are you okay?!” I felt my heart leap out of my chest from fear before quickly settling when I heard a gruff response echoing back up towards me. “Yeah, I think so. I can’t see.”

I pulled the bioluminescent orb out of my pocket and shook it until it lit up slightly. “Watch your head.” And with that I dropped it down into the hole watching it light up the sides along the way. The drop couldn’t have been more than 15 feet. Ford was suddenly illuminated in light as it dropped at his feet. “Thanks.” 

I pulled the paracord out of my bag and started tying it to a nearby tree before returning to the hole and dropping the other end in. “Hey, I threw down a rope!” I hollered into the hole. I didn’t get a response. “Ford?” I felt a small tinge of fear start to creep up. 

“Patch, you’re going to want to see this.” His voice echoed back up to me. 

“Can’t you just tell me?” 

“No, you have to see this yourself.” 

“Oh good lord.” I mumbled to myself before running my hand over my face. I wrapped myself around the paracord and started to descend, getting closer to the blue light at the bottom. As I got closer I was able to see Ford facing something else. I stepped out from behind him and felt my own jaw drop. Ford was simply grinning. We looked at each other and I snapped my mouth shut. 

Almost immediately I set off to inspect the dinosaurs encased in what appeared to be sap. How they got into that situation where that much sap was dumped over their head was puzzling, but I was more interested in the preservation of the dinosaurs. They were in near perfect condition. I reached my hand out and started running it along the hardened sap that encased a raptor. There seemed to be a hole in the ground above each of the entrapped dinosaurs which allowed for an orange light to illuminate each of the displays. 

Ford knelt down on the ground in front of a T-Rex and marked something down in his notebook before flipping a few pages and writing very quickly and aggressively. He occasionally stole glances at the creature in front of him in between sentences. I continued through the cave and passed by each of the dinosaurs before stopping in front of a pterodactyl. One of it’s fingers was outside of the entrapment of the sap and I reached out to run my fingers along it. The claw alone on the finger was longer than my hand. 

I touched it carefully, feeling the roughness and groves on the nail before. It was so- “WHAT!” I jumped back when the finger suddenly bent downwards and began scratching at the sap. “Thats...” I breathed trying to keep my cool about the scratching dino finger in front of me. “That’s Impossible…”

I reached out to touch it again when a voice spoke up behind me. “What are you yelling for?” 

I jumped for the second time in 5 minutes, letting in an audible gasp. I whipped around and glared, clutching my heart. “Good lord are you trying to kill me?” 

He held his hands up in defense, “I-” He stopped and looked past me before he could defend himself. “Woah.” 

I turned back around and faced the scratching finger of a pterodactyl. “Woah is right.” 

“That’s impossible! It’s still alive after 60 million years! This town really had no limits. I mean the preservation of organic matter can be seen anywhere else but the preservation of life? Now that is insane.” I watched him gush for a moment. It was pretty cute when I wasn’t also completely baffled by the discovery. I pondered a thought for a moment. I could really use a biological sample if I wanted to recreate this thing. I could clone it! With DNA right from the source it could be easier than ever. Not to mention the cleaned claw would look great on my shelf. I mean, it wasn’t like we wanted a dinosaur to get out anytime soon, and with him scratching away like that… I smiled at the thought and wrapped my hand around the knife attached to my belt before pulling it out of the sheath. 

I took a step forward and was lined up with the joint of the finger beside my knife before Ford’s hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. “Wait! What are you doing?” 

I looked between him and the finger. “Um, stealing from a dinosaur?” I said with a hint of hesitance in my voice. 

“You can’t just chop off it’s finger.” He said looking slightly disturbed. “What are you even gonna do with it anyways?” 

“Souvenir? Decoration? Maybe clone it and create a smaller, less dangerous one that I can keep as a pet?” I shrugged. 

He looked at me like I had threatened to chop off one of his fingers. “You can’t just-just chop off it’s finger!” He seemed to be having a slight amount of trouble arguing his point. 

“I don’t exactly want him flying off.” I said looking back at the claw that continued to scratch away at the hardened sap. 

Ford looked around the room and grabbed a stick with a heaping pile of sticky sap at the end. I watched carefully when he grabbed it and started smearing it around the finger of the prehistoric creature. It stopped scratching after being completely smothered with the sap. 

“Aw come on.” I made a pouting face at Ford. 

“No. No dinosaur fingers in the cabin.” he pointed at me with the stick before dropping it. 

I crossed my arms and sulked off. I wanted that finger. I could have used it for so many things. Now, I was down a dinosaur claw. I looked back at Ford to make sure he saw the annoyance in my face. I knew I was acting childish but that was MY dinosaur claw. He was watching me as I sat down by a velociraptor maintaining eye contact. I dropped my look as he shook his head and started writing again in his journal. 

I opened my mouth to speak but Ford must have heard my train of thought because he cut me off before I could say anything. “No, you can’t have it- dating or not.”

I tried to push down the smile to keep my look serious when he looked back at me. The smile combined with my stubbornness turned into something of a half snarl. “Stop reading my thoughts man.” I mumbled and turned my head. 

I heard him chuckle slightly before coming up to me and reaching out a hand to help me up off the floor. I took it and stood before walking behind him out of the cave room of preserved dinosaurs. I took one last look at the pterodactyl before gripping the rope and starting to pull myself up. I was totally coming back for that finger.


	8. Viva la Bill Cypher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapters are short but this one has some Bill in it. Also Patch gets a nickname from Bill. I wonder if she's part of the Zodiac?

“So I take it we’re calling it a day?” I asked after helping Ford through the hole in the floor. 

He gave me a thoughtful look that I couldn’t even make a guess as to what he was thinking before he spoke. “Yeah we can head back now.” I held out my hand to help him to his feet which he took and didn’t quite let go even after he was standing. His hand stayed in mine for the whole walk back which normally I wouldn't have found that pleasurable but for some reason I didn’t pull away even when I saw another stick that had the potential to be a tiny spear. 

It was odd what this man was doing to me. I didn’t think I should question it though and chalked it up to the dumb strings attached to relationships. We had been dating for probably 3 weeks now. After the whole first kiss thing we had one awkward date before deciding to do the whole dating thing our own way. We figured that since both of us were far from ordinary, our relationship would probably be that way too. 

A few weeks went by before I had my second encounter with the omnipotent dream demon. A college friend of Stanford's came by to help at some point in those passing weeks, but we really didn’t interact that much after he caught me swearing aggressively at a project. I think I might have scared him. Oh well. What can you do? 

I woke up late in the night. Well, late or early enough that the moon and stars were still faintly outlined in the sky. I awoke from some kind of nightmare that slipped my mind the moment I tried to remember. Finding that my throat was incredibly dry and my blankets were overheating me, I threw them off and started down the stairs. I froze halfway down the stairs when I heard a thump. I looked around me and quickly snatched a book off of the stack at the top of the stairs. There were books everywhere, constantly, all the time. No one was ever up at this hour. My blood ran cold as I suddenly began to dread the worst. Maybe an anomaly broke in? What about a Gremloblin? Or a Kill Billy?! I felt my face drain at the thought. 

I stepped around the corner and heard shuffling from the kitchen. When I poked my head around the corner of the kitchen ever so carefully, I lowered the book to my side. It was only Ford. Well, kind of. I huffed a sigh of relief and felt my heartbeat relax and slow. “Jeez Ford, you’re gonna give me a heart attack. I almost beat you with…” I paused reading the title. “Physics? Where’s the rest of the title? Is that seriously it?” I flipped the book over. “Not even an author name…” I mused before looking back up at Ford who was giving me an uncomfortably wide grin. 

“Hiya there Birdie!”

“Birdie? Since when was that a thing?” I eyed him suspiciously for a moment before tightening my grip on the Physics book. “Ford? Are you alright?”

“Oh don’t you worry your little head Tweety Bird. Ford is just fine. In fact, he’s taking a nap right now.” 

What do you mean ‘he’? “You’re not Ford.” I said raising the book again to chest height. I felt the panic starting to pick up again but I did my best not to let it show. Was it… Bill? 

“Wow, you sure catch on quick. And to answer your question- yes it is.” 

“Woah wait get out of my head man.” I kept the book close and stepped further into the kitchen. “Don’t go reading my thoughts, you'll find things you don’t like.”

“OOOO now THIS I must see!” 

I jumped back at the unexpected boom in his voice and he started cackling at my response. I saw a wicked grin cross Ford’s possessed face after the cackling subdued. I couldn’t help but grimace at the unnatural shape. Shut up. Stop it with the jumpiness. I can handle this.

“You sure about that?”

“I said stop reading my thoughts, man, it’s weird.” I kept my voice even despite the panic I still felt aching at my heart. There was something about this creature that seriously rubbed me the wrong way. If he only used Ford’s body for research, what was he doing in the kitchen? Ugh stop thinking thoughts. Get out of my head Cypher.

“Haha. Never! I came up here for a snack and maybe a tumble down the stairs. You fleshbags have so many sensations! I had to try some things out before ol’ Sixer here wakes up.” 

Still eyeing him cautiously, I placed the book down on the counter and crossed my arms in front of me. It was a weird thing having a conversation with Ford knowing that it wasn’t really him. The only thing giving Bill away was the slight yellow tint in the eyes. 

“So untrusting! Hey wanna hear a joke?” He didn't wait for an answer. "Catch!"

"What-" 

It was very sudden when Ford’s body went limp and fell to the ground. I jumped to catch him as he fell but my small frame could only do so much. I was able to keep him from hitting his head too badly. Jeez, I know Bill and Ford have this little deal going on, but he doesn’t have to be so reckless with his body. A small grumbling could be heard escaping from Ford's mouth as he slowly sat up out of my grip. The window showed me that dawn was starting to creep up on us. 

Ford turned and looked around, obviously confused at his new situation. That's when he caught a glimpse of me kneeling behind him. I saw his eyes widen as he rubbed his eyes and quickly sat up. 

“You all there?” I asked, keeping my voice as calm as possible. 

“Y-yeah. I-uh… did you talk with Bill?” He straightened his glasses. 

“Uh huh. Why do you look so weird about it? I thought you guys were pals.” I pulled myself to my feet and held a hand out to help him stand as well. 

“We are. It’s just…” he paused taking my hand as I helped him up. “He’s a dangerous being. I might trust him with me, but I don’t trust him around you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him and recrossed my arms.

He picked up the look almost immediately and he jumped at the loose end. “I-I don’t mean that I don’t trust you or that you could hold your own but…” he came closer and put both of his hands on my shoulders. I met his eye line. “I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if something happened and I could have prevented it.” 

I felt the softness of the gaze and realized all over again why this was the man I fell for. “You got it.” I dropped my head to rest on his chest. Again, this kind of thing felt out of character for me, but I didn’t really care at the moment. 

I turned my head though at the sudden crunching and chewing in the doorway. I stepped back from Ford and glared at the mullet.

He smirked “Oh no don’t stop at my account.” he continued crunching on a bag of chips. 

“Oh buzz off, little man.” I kept my eyes trained on him in a silent staring contest.

“Well, seeing that we’re all up we might as well get to work then huh?” Ford’s voice cut through the annoyed tension in the room. 

“Sure buddio. Meet you in the basement.” He stuck his tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes. 

He’s such a child sometimes. I snickered and met Ford’s amused look again. “Come on. I don’t want him to crack more jokes than he needs to today. If we get down there earlier he might spare us.” I stole a kiss and went back up the stairs to throw on some clothes.


	9. When Bill Gets Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been having a rough summer and I just got a little prompting reminder this morning to pick myself up. A big thank you to the person responsible for reminding me. Go check out @hunklejunk on tumblr if you want to see the amazing art they made for Patchouli. Yeet Skeet. Buy gold, Byeee.

Ford came through the front door carrying a folded up fabric under his arm. I squinted at him from the table. “The hell is that?” 

He looked at me proudly before taking a step off the welcome mat with his dirty ass boots. I held out a hand and shook my head. “Take off the boots. I just mopped.” He took a careful step back onto the mat and I smiled sweetly at him while he unlaced the shoes and kicked them off. 

“I found this at the general store.” He walked the rest of the way in and plopped the fabric down. As he unfolded it, I could see exactly why he had gotten it. It was mostly yellow with a pattern that held a circle of triangles. Little gold swirls wrapped around the edges and converged towards the corners. If I was ignoring the fact that this looked like Bill’s wet dream, it was actually kind of pretty. “I thought I could meditate on it. Bill says it's easier to enter my mind if there are symbols that relate to him around.” 

I nodded in understanding. “Alright. It is pretty.” 

He picked it up again and started carrying it down to the basement. I watched him go before turning back to my own notebook. Every couple of days there was always some new triangle memorabilia added to his collection. He seemed excited about it so I never said anything. I only allowed it to continue happening because Bill had gotten on my good side. 

Cypher had spent about an hour assisting me with a build. He was able to give me the exact measurements needed for a magnet gun. He was also helping with the interdimensional portal, but my magnet gun was way more important than that. For records sake that was a joke. Interdimensional travel is revolutionary and to achieve it is a feat that I had never known to be possible. But, yeah. Magnet guns. 

I snapped my notebook shut and stood to head back into the basement. I only paused in the kitchen for a beer and bag of chips before proceeding down the stairs. Fiddleford was tinkering with the control panel when I walked in. He saw the beer in my hand and snagged it before I could react. 

“Thank you.” 

I opened my mouth in protest. “You give that back or I’ll call you out right now.” 

“You won’t.” He snorted and popped open the bottle. 

I yanked the bottle back, practically snarling at him. “Don’t mess with my alcohol, putz.” 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that.” I heard Ford call over from the portal. He jumped down and started over to us. “Lee will fight you for it.”

Fid rolled his eyes and I smirked, tossing the bottle cap at his head. I started over to the portal to get back to the wielding. I did stop briefly for a kiss from Ford before settling down on the ground with the stick welder. After pulling my mask over my head, I got back to work with my beer at my side.

I spent about three hours on one foundation piece until it was time to connect it to the portal. I got up and looked around for some assistance. Ford was nowhere to be found, but Fiddleford was working in the control room. I sighed and mentally slapped myself for not having a better option. “Hey, Fidds!”

He looked up at me through the plexiglass window and frowned with a squint before smiling sweetly. “Where’s your boyfriend? Can’t he help?” 

“Just get your ass over here. I’ve got to get this up.” I gestured to the piece and Fiddleford came around through the doorway. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He tossed aside a rag and grabbed onto one end. I grabbed the other and together we lifted the chunk of metal and started shuffling over to the portal. I ended up straddling the bottom of the portal while we shifted the piece into place. It dropped in with a loud clang and Fiddleford huffed. “You’d think a lady’d have some kind of manners.” 

“Oi! What’s that supposed to mean?” I had half a smile, knowing that he was only joking around. 

He went to pick up his rag. “It means, you swear like a pirate. Your old man teach you that?” 

I hopped down off the portal and went to grab the welder. “My old man disowned me for it.” I chuckled despite the odd stinging feeling it left in my heart. Memories of that night came flooding back and I ignored them by flipping my mask back on. 

“Did he really do that?” Fiddleford asked with genuine curiosity in his voice. 

I shrugged. “Sure felt like it when he told me not to come back. I mean, I wasn’t really what he had in mind when he said he wanted a daughter.” Okay, that kinda hurts. The crackling of the welding stick sounded an awful lot like lightning. I shook my head and pushed on, avoiding any and all memories of that experience. It wasn’t important. Just focus on the work. 

“Sorry about that.” I stopped and flipped up my mask to see Fiddleford return to the control room. That was nice of him. 

“It’s cool. Cool, cool, cool.” I mumbled and turned back to my work. “Sound as a pound, bitches.” 

Ford came back a while later and finished wiring up the section I added before I could put in the covering plate. Since it took his work a little longer than he expected, I ended up waiting for a short while. I filled the time by starting work on the next section though, so it was time well spent. 

I put my headphones on so that I could focus on the work without throwing a wrench. The plan wasn’t fool proof and I did through a piece of garbage metal across the workspace. It deserved it though. It was being difficult on purpose. 

“Hey, Lee, I’m heading to bed.” Ford stopped in front of me and crouched down. I glanced up at him, only briefly, before nodding. 

“Okay, did Fidds leave already?” I looked behind me to confirm that Fiddlford was actually gone before turning back to the man in front of me. 

“Yeah, the wife was calling him home.” Ford chuckled and stood again. 

I sniggered with him. “Poor Fidds.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. It couldn’t be so bad.” 

“Nah. I’m never getting married. I can see spending my life with one person but marriage is like…” I tapped my chin with the pliers, trying to find a good comparison. “It’s like signing something that says I objectively belong to someone else.” 

“I hadn’t thought of it like that.” Ford mused with a hint of a smile. “So, how would someone, oh I don’t know, maybe myself, secure a position as a life partner?” 

“I don’t know.” I frowned. “I think I would consider a fiancé. Not a husband, ‘cause that would make me a wife and I don’t like wives. I would hate to have to dislike myself.” 

I didn’t realize that I had just discussed marriage with my partner of three months until after he left with a nod. Wait. Fuck. I jumped back from sticking the panel on and froze in my place. Do I want to spend the rest of my life with Ford? I can’t imagine it with anyone else… I shook my head. I wasn’t even thinking about what Ford would want in this situation. 

I held my hands out in front of me as if to keep myself steady while I looked around. Was he hinting towards something more? Gah, why are people so confusing? I gripped my hands into fists and went back towards the panel. I had to finish attaching it before I went to bed.

When I did finish attaching it I stepped back and turned off the welder. I admired my work before checking my watch. It was already after midnight so when the scenery swapped to black and white it was more of a nuisance. I audibly groaned and turned to face the creepy triangle. “What do you want, Cypher?” 

“What, I can’t stop in on my favorite Birdie? Geez, the lengths us old timers go through.” Bill floated forwards and I rolled my eyes and started past him. “I just came to congratulate you.” 

I stopped and squinted before looking back. “On what?” 

“On getting yourself someone who feels bad enough for you.” My blood ran cold and I was sure Bill could tell. “You know, the brainiac. Sixer.” 

“What do you mean?” I wasn’t too keen on believing that Bill would be telling the truth, but it wasn’t about to dismiss it. Especially after what he had just said.

“You’ve got that Fordsy all wrapped around your finger. I find it hilarious how hard he’s fallen for your pity party.” Bill patted my head and laughed. “I mean, I don’t think even I could be that convincing. He was considering engagement.”

I tried to wrap my head around what Bill was saying. He just pities me? That can’t be right. I do love him. I tried to shut down my thoughts before Bill could read them, but they were moving too fast. He does love me, right? I felt my gut twist and Bill took my silent thought as an opportunity to continue. 

“Ha. You think you’re capable of love? Have you even seen yourself?” That one hurt. My own parents couldn’t even look at me. What made me think I was actually someone worth loving? 

“Knock it off, Cypher. I know you’re just trying to get a rise out of me.” I brushed it off but stayed where I was. 

Bill did a quick spin around me. “I’m just repeating what I’ve learned. No harm if it’s the truth.” 

I swallowed thickly and turned towards the door. “Stop it.” 

He moved so that he was directly in front of me, blocking the door. I met his eye and glared. He ‘grinned’ and leaned on nothing while inspecting his fingers. “I couldn’t just let you stay ignorant to the facts, Birdie.” I kept my composure calm despite the pain raging in my heart. Who could love this?

I ducked past him and shoved aside the thoughts I knew he heard already. “Goodnight, Bill.” 

“See you in your nightmares!” 

I blinked and I was suddenly slumped over on the floor of the basement with my back against the portal. I sat up and checked my watch, having an incredible amount of exhaustion and dread leaking through my system. My head hurt and I could see the hands of the watch, but my mind couldn’t put two and two together to determine what time it was.

The shutter of the elevator coming down the hatch had me getting up to stretch my back. 

“You think you’re capable of love?” 

Ford stepped out of the elevator and looked at me across the room. He frowned and made his way towards me with a coffee in hand. “You didn’t come to bed last night.” 

“Have you even seen yourself?” 

I shut down the memory and turned my attention to Ford. No need to worry him. “I was working...I’m sorry, what time is it?” 

“A little past eight. Are you alright?” He came forward, concern laced into his voice. 

I blinked a few times and rolled my shoulders back to stretch them out of their stiff form. “No, yeah. I’m fine. I’m just going to get changed. I’ll be right back.” I walked by him towards the elevator. 

I knew Bill was lying. He had to be. I couldn’t understand why he would do that though. I clenched my hands into fists as the elevator stopped and opened. I walked briskly out and up the stairs to my room. I just needed to get changed, then I could melt back into my work and ignore all my real problems. 

\-------------------

Stanford watched her walk out briskly with her shoulders tensed. Patch had even avoided eye contact with him as if she had done something wrong. It was incredibly odd coming from her. She normally had such a confident stature and seeing her practically cower away was concerning enough for him to want to do something about it. 

His first instinct was to consult Bill. His muse tended to have the answers, though, Ford wasn’t so sure this was something he wanted to share with said being. He really just wanted to find out what was wrong by asking. Lee isn’t really one to talk about her feelings… His mind felt pretty divided as he stood uncomfortably in the basement alone. 

“Bill?” Ford felt himself asking instead of continuing to feed into the internal debate. 

The room around him cast to black and white as Bill appeared in front of him. “Hey, Sixer. You finish the build yet?” 

Ford shook his head and frowned. “I was hoping you could help.” 

“That is what mentors do. Is it not?” Bill flipped so that his feet were resting on an invisible table and he leaned back. 

“It’s Lee. Do you know why she’s acting strange?” Ford looked past him towards the elevator she left on. He was worried that it was something he had done. Maybe he shouldn’t have pursued the idea of commitment to her.

Bill laughed. “Oh, yeah. That. Listen, you don’t need anyone weighing you down where you’re going. She’s only going to hold you back in life.” 

Ford felt the weight of Bill’s words dump dread into his heart. He didn’t believe that his muse would do such a thing though. “Did you talk to her?” He practically whispered the question. 

“Of course I did. I just had to remind her where she really belonged. She agreed too.” 

He felt anger boiling over the dread as he turned to the demon in a rage. “I told you not to talk to her! She’s to be left out of this!” Ford was fuming. He broke our deal.

Bill put up his hands like he was actually surprised by Ford’s angered response. “Woah, woah. I did no such thing. I’m a man of my word.” He backed up slightly with his hands outstretched. 

“You said you wouldn’t contact her alone anymore.” Ford growled. “How am I supposed to trust you if you run around behind my back like this?” 

“I didn’t mean any harm, Sixer. I was just telling a few white lies for the greater good.” Bill held up a finger and pointed it at Ford. “Allow me to fix it.” 

“No, Bill, wait-” Ford was cut off when he looked around and Bill was gone. When he found himself kneeling on the floor, he started by getting up and running towards the elevator. 

He didn’t know exactly what he was going to try to achieve by getting to Patch, but it made sense at the time. It could have been to apologize, but he figured he was a little more worried about what Bill would do to ‘fix it.


	11. Chapter 11

Ford found Patch coming out of the bathroom. He practically skidded to a halt coming so quickly down the hall. He could clearly see the shadow of a triangle hovering above her head. 

She looked at him and frowned. “You alright?”

Right as she spoke, the triangle dipped down, entering her mind, and she dropped. Ford, luckily, was close enough to catch her so she didn’t fall too far. He leaned her up against the wall in a panic and Fiddleford spoke up from behind him.

“What’s going on?” 

Once Patch was safely on the floor, he turned back to his buddy. “Get the third Journal. Now.” With Stanford’s voice as commanding as it was, Fiddleford complied and started down the basement stairs. 

He hated what he was going to have to do. He didn’t trust anyone Patch’s mind either, so if he was there too, maybe he could help make sure Bill didn’t do anything bad. 

Fiddleford came back up the steps and held out the journal for Ford to take. Flipping through the pages, he finally found the correct one and propped the journal up on his knee. “Fiddleford I have to enter her mind after Bill, I’m worried that he’ll do something when I’m not there.”

“I thought you trusted Bill.” Fidds added, frowning at him. 

“He still has erratic behavior and he might make a bad choice. I trust him with my own mind but not hers.” Ford put a hand on Patch’s forehead and started the incantation. He was close to finishing when Fidd’s hand went on top of her head too. Ford didn’t make him move and finished the chant, knocking them both down into darkness.

When he got up again, they were standing on the black and white street of a suburban neighborhood. The house in front of them had a few shingles floating off the roof and the road to their right dropped off suddenly on a cliff. 

“Where are we?” Fidds asked in a hushed voice. 

“Her home, I assume.” Ford took one more look around before starting towards the house in front of him. “Come on, make yourself useful.” 

Fidds followed after him, up the steps of the unfamiliar house, and through the door. 

Stepping inside, he could see a maze of doors going everywhere. A door with an occasionally flashing light behind it was labeled fears and closed off with chains. Another door was labeled hopes and sat very quietly with no light. Many of the doors remained unlabeled. There was the far away sound of piano too which had him stumped but that wasn’t really why he came. He had to find Bill.

Starting down the steps, he had a general idea of where he needed to go. The shadow of a triangle had him going in that direction too. He took off running down the hall to chase down Bill. Ford stopped right outside the doorway Bill had entered, looking at the sign. 

‘Memories’

He gave a passing glance to Fiddleford and pulled the door open, revealing a long hallway. There was no immediate sign of Bill so he forced himself further in. It felt wrong to be invading someone’s past like this. Nevertheless, he felt his eyes wandering towards some of the open doors.   
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

“Ladies can’t box.” A man sneered, stepping up to face Patch. 

She tilted her head at him, removing her gloves. “You sure about that?”

He scoffed. “You really think you’re something, huh?”

“Yeah,” Patch blinked innocently at him. She looked much younger, nowhere over the age of 18. “I really do.” 

“That’s no good. Women shouldn’t be thinking like that.” He made a fake pouting face. “It messes with your...lady parts. You wouldn’t want to be too messed up for your future husband. He might think you’re a-”

The guy was quickly cut off when a fist socked him right in the center of the face. He stumbled back and blood started to drip from his nose. Patch grabbed onto the collar of his shirt and brought him close, practically dripping with malice. “I dare you to finish that sentence.”   
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Ford shut the door respectfully. It was nice to know that Patch had been standing up for herself long before he met her. Though, he wouldn’t have doubted she had done something like that if someone had told him on the street. She was just that kind of person. 

He followed the hallway further, trying not to look, and was almost drawn into seeing another when Fiddleford tugged his sleeve and pointed. Bill’s shadow had made a sharp left turn at the end of the hall. 

“Bill!” Ford called after him, hoping to get his attention. Needless to say, it didn’t work, and when they rounded the same turn, Bill had disappeared again. “Dammit.” 

This new hallway had lots of doors with names on them. It didn’t take long for him to spot his own name several names down. He moved to stand in front of it. It was him in the memories. Therefore it wouldn’t be wrong to look at them. Right? ...Right.

Against his better judgment, he walked in, leaving behind Fiddleford. Stanford pushed open the first door he saw to peer inside.   
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

“Hi.” Patch approached Ford, hand extended. “I assume you’re the guy who was looking for an intern slash apprentice.” 

“Yes, that’s me.” Ford shook her hand. “Stanford Pines.” 

“Patchouli Porter...Woah,” She flipped over his hand. “Six fingered handshake- That’s, like, a full digit cooler than normal.” 

Young Ford rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly while she beamed at him. “Yeah, I guess it is.”  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Ford smiled. He remembered that moment too. Not to be dramatic, but that was the moment he fell for her. It wasn’t a hard fall (that part came later) but it was hard enough that he had trouble acting like a normal person around her. He shut the door, effectively sealing it away from danger. 

He walked a few paces down the hall, spotting familiar moments that they had shared. Gremloblin, Kill Billys, Dinosaurs...The list went on. He did decide, after a good minute, that he still needed to find Bill. As he turned to leave, however, one door in particular caught his eye. Ford stared it down before mentally cursing himself and pushing it open.   
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

“You’re pathetic.” Patch clicked at him, running fingers through his hair. “How does this help again?”

Ford was laying on top of her with his face buried in the sheets by her head. “It’s science. I promise.”

She chuckled and shook her head, not once taking her eyes off the book in her hand. “I think...you just really like cuddles.” 

“No. That's not it.” Ford raised his head to look at her and she humored him by raising an eyebrow right back. 

“Just admit that you're wrong.” She murmured, a small smirk playing on her lips. “It’s okay. You can say it.”

“No.” He dropped his head back onto the sheets. “I’m right. There’s science behind it.” 

Patch removed her hand from massaging his head, dropping it limply on the mattress. “And now?”

Ford lifted his head slowly to scowl at her. “You’re playing dirty. That’s not fair. I’m crippled.”

“You’re just sad because a unicorn called you out. That’s not crippled, it’s just...plaintive.”  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Ford’s heart swelled at the memory. He didn’t deserve her. Following the hallway back out, he only took one look back at the rooms before closing the door behind him. Fiddleford was staring through a doorway too, watching a memory closely. It wasn’t until Ford came up behind him that he quickly closed it, drowning out the sound of thunder inside. 

“I got distracted.” Fiddleford admitted, looking around the hallway again. “Come on.”

Ford had caught a glimpse of the room though. He wanted to know why Patch had been sitting on the sidewalk in the rain of a thunderstorm. However, he did have a responsibility here, and he wasn’t going to find Bill just standing around. 

They spent half a minute looking before they made a judgement call and went through a door labelled ‘Bill’. When they went in though, there were only around eight doors. It made sense considering that she had only interacted with Bill a few times. Ford still needed to find out what Bill had said though, so he started opening doors. Fiddleford started doing the same. 

The first door he opened was just the interaction between Patch and Bill when they first met. The second one, however, was one he hadn’t seen. Patch appeared to be on the ground of the basement, welding away and working on the portal. It looked recent based on the completion level of the gateway. 

The room changed to black and white and Patch noticed, rolling her eyes. “What do you want, Cypher?” 

“What, I can’t stop in on my favorite Birdie? Geez, the lengths us old timers go through.” Bill floated forwards and Patch started to walk away. “I just came to congratulate you.” 

She stopped to narrow her eyes back at him. “On what?” 

“On getting yourself-”

The door was snapped shut, forcing Ford to take a step back. Bill was floating nearby, and snapped his fingers, burning the door up into ash. “That oughta do the trick!”

“Bill!” Ford exclaimed, almost appalled. “You can’t just destroy someone’s memories!”

“Well, that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” Bill clapped his hands together, satisfied with his work. “I fixed the problem. It’s like I never spoke to her at all.” 

Ford blinked at the muse in shock. He was mad at Bill, to say in the least, but he couldn’t figure out what to say to him. Luckily, Fiddleford had enough sense to pull Ford away from the hallway. “Let’s get going.”

Ford followed after in silence. What was he going to tell Patch?

\--------------------------------------

I woke up on the floor, which was...unexpected. The more surprising part was the two men who were also waking up in front of me. I got to my feet, looking around with a frown. What the hell?

“Patch?” Ford got up too, looking worse for wear. 

I narrowed my eyes at the two of them. “What?”

Ford visibly paled and Fiddleford looked sick. “What do you remember?”

“What do I rem-?” I shook my head at them. “What the hell are you talking about? Why are we on the floor?”

Ford’s shoulders relaxed and he ran a hand through his hair with a sigh of relief. Fiddleford turned and left, grumbling about something or another. The more relieved of the two wrapped his arms around me.

I patted him back awkwardly. “You good there, Ford?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” He stepped back, keeping his hands on my shoulders. He looked me over as if he expected there to be something wrong before his eyes fell on my own confused ones. “I- I have to tell you something.”

In an effort to brighten the confusing and dark mood, I smiled. “You love me?”

“No. Well,” He winced. “I do, but that’s not what I have to tell you.” 

I followed him to the table and he took his time explaining. He had this really uneasy look on his face the entire time, like he was scared of how I’d react. Apparently, Bill had said something to me that made me somewhat upset, but then burned the memory right after. All in all, I was just glad that Ford had actually gone in after him. If he hadn’t, I wouldn't have ever known. After he explained, he just sat, awaiting my response. 

I nodded slowly at him, “So are you and the muse having a falling out, or…”

“No. Well, I don’t know.” He admitted, looking almost ashamed. “The way he reacted...it wasn’t right.”

I hummed, leaning back in my seat. “So what’s the verdict? Do we trust him or not?”

Ford tilted his head at me. “We? I thought you’d have your own opinion on this one.”

“Well,” I shrugged. “It takes at least two for a relationship, and you know Bill better. I trust your judgement.”

“You do?” 

“Sure. You just have to do one thing for me.” My lips twitched into a smirk and he narrowed his eyes playfully right back. 

“What is it?”

I paused only for dramatic effect, crossing my arms. “Admit that you were wrong about the unicorn thing.” 

Ford smiled and shook his head at me. “You are never going to let that go, are you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet skeet


End file.
